“If All Things Be Equal” — By Collins Adolf

Ceteris Paribus

By Collins Adolf

There is often the usage of “Normally, na like this things suppose to be” in local parlance, “All other things being equal” according to the Englishman (even though we know in capitalist societies, nothing stays equal), but that’s a story for another day. Nonetheless, it was the conservative Latin man that envisaged that ‘all things be equal,’ a message he preached tirelessly for a world that cared less for the basics of his language. Perhaps, the linguists of this world, never considered in Linguam Latinam (the Latin language) as equal, compared to Mandarin, French, Cantonese, German, English, Portuguese and even pidgin.

Alright, I know what you may be thinking; that the Latin man was beaten in his own game, maybe yes, maybe not, why is this? History has taught us to ponder on the Ifs and Whys, which might actually lead us down the equilibrium path, devoid of caste system. However, in our contemporary world, I think the Europeans would have understood the Latin man’s vision of equality if he had rephrased; “If all other things be equal, there would be no need for the maintenance and upkeep of nuclear weapons”. For the Asians, he would have simply said “If all things be equal, our physical appearances will be all that matter”. For the Africans (a continent likened to the Tower of Babel), I do not think, but, know for sure, he would need to say a lot of things like; “If all things be equal, the hustling Nigerian will not be mutilated yearly, in xenophobic attacks down South,” with disheartening claims that, he is the reason they (indigenes) are out of work, instead of exonerating his diligence and resourcefulness. “If all things be equal, the average Ghanaian will not be despised for his deep rooted melanin,” in a continent where everything ‘black’ is fast becoming associated with negative vibes, cutting across our force uniforms, fashion sense on campuses, trends and so much more. “If all things be equal, the black man will still want to be referred to as a ‘black man’ with no iota of disrespect or ill feeling, we are Africans, and Africans are we!”. “If all things be equal, we will never find the Rwandan, Botswana, Central Africa Republic, Cameroonian, Nigerian youths squeezing themselves like sardine in trucks in the Sahara, ignorant of the understanding of the history of their forefathers, plying the routes of no return once again, in the rush and craze for the white-man’s land”. How sardonic and pathetic their echoes and cry for help in the depth of the Mediterranean, that their immobile bodies wish they had not taken that incorrigible step into abyss, where they had hoped all things be made equal.

I was travelling one day, and in the bus we boarded, there was a conversation which was about “If all things be equal, we would arrive Auchi from Benin in 2hours,” in line with the complaints by the passengers of ‘bad roads’ in the Southern part when compared to the Northern axis. A certain young man even recounted that; that particular region we were plying had produced two former federal ministers of works, and that it was laughable that their own roads were not motorable.

Again, “If all things be equal, the Super Eagles will confidently defeat all three opponents in her group; Argentina, Croatia and Iceland in the upcoming football mundial in Russia. After all, it’s eleven-eleven players on the field of play.” But, can the magic prowess of a Lionel Messi be matched with an in form Mikel Obi? (Apologies to the patriotic me).

Two thousand and nineteen (2019) the most common word now in my country is fast approaching. I ask “If all things be equal, can a newly formed political party, filled with new faces and aspirants, take over power from the incumbent ruling party?”

The Latin man believes that ‘Ceteris Paribus’ is ideal. And from the look of things, he was cautiously aware of the inequalities infested in this cruel world, but, still, he made this phrase known to the world, before his language was classified as ‘extinct’.

Oh yea Nigerians youths! He hath said this that we may listen to his voice crying from the wilderness. The Nigeria we want tomorrow, begins today.

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Collins Adolf, ‘no relative of the Hitler lineage’, is an unabating article, poetry and fictional penner. A Historian by calling, and the CEO of @aoc_writehub, an instagram imprint.

Hit him up collinsadolf07@gmail.com

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